Heroes at Large vZine Vol. 1 No. 1 from Cattails Publishing LLC

Ponderings of a Protagonist: Balance As I was waking this morning, I began pondering, as I often do, various things happening in my life, things that I've read recently, or just....read more

As I was waking this morning, I began pondering, as I often do, various things happening in my life, things that I've read recently, or just odd-n-end thoughts that drift through. This morning, I began pondering balance.

It is so incredibly important for us to keep everything in our lives balanced.... For example, knowing when to work -- and work hard -- but also knowing when to kick back and relax and also knowing when to grab life by the horns and play.

I'm thinking specifically this morning of several people I know who's go-get-'em, workaholic styles have done horrible damage to their already-fragile immune systems.... Damage that has resulted in exacerbating auto-immune disorders such as lupus and sero-negative rheumatoid arthritis.

My suggestion is for you to take time and ponder for yourself what the questions of "what does balance (moderation) mean to me as a life skill," and "if I brought more balance into my life, what changes would that make."
— Beth

You're a hero! All of us are heroes; we are all the hero of our own story. No matter what, we see our lives through the lens of our own point of view. Even once we have learned empathy (and empathy is a learned skill allowing us to see things from another person's point of view) our default perspective is always to see primarily through our own viewpoint - our own experience, attitudes, knowledge, and understanding.

This begins when our lives begin. From birth onward we experience ourselves as the protagonist of our own story…the hero. It is inevitable. It is part of the human experience. And that is why I say to you, you are the hero of your own story.

One of the keys to effective living, however, is to recognize that as much as you are the protagonist of your own story, the people around you are also the protagonists of their own stories. Everyone around you is also a hero.

One of the ways we encounter difficulties in our relationships is that we forget this. We have such a strong innate tendency to see ourselves as The Hero (even if that's not the term we use), to see ourselves as the guide, the one who is suppose to control the pathway of the journey of our life, that we forget that this journey includes not just us and our particular path, but also the paths of other people guiding their paths. Your life's path intersects and intertwines with many other heroes' paths. We often forget that even as we are working toward our goals, the others around us are at the same time working toward their goals. Conflict happens when different heroes' goals crash.

We may easily resent when another person balks or interferes with our goals, in large part because we forget that they are focused on their own, and their own goals may have just as much merit for them as your goals have for you. Power struggles occur when heroes, their goals, their paths, and their stories collide.

One of the basic ways we can help ourselves have better and more satisfying interpersonal relationships is to recognize that the people we interact with are all heroes in their own right, just as we are heroes. This includes our spouses, children, co-workers, friends, and neighbors. They are all on their own hero's path, just like you are.

I leave you with a challenge: watch yourself to see how you are the hero of your story, but also watch others and see if you can figure out how they are the heroes of their own stories as well.

Beth Peterson has been studying people and their heroes' journeys through life for decades. She is the author of "People Who Play God" and "The Hero's Guide to Protecting Yourself Against Harmful Relationships".

Beth wears many hats. She is also a trained working artist (although cartooning is not her forté). Her art gallery can be viewed at www.wingedblue.com