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Emotional Health
To Feel or Not to Feel That is the Question. If you've ever watched the original Star Trek series you'll recognize Spock. His father was Vulcan, and totally non-emotional, while his mother was from Earth. Throughout the series Spock warred against his human - emotional - side, tightly controlling anything even vaguely resembling an emotion. On those rare occasions when emotions would burst forth, they were painful and explosive. Like many of us, Spock saw emotions as weak and "illogical." There was no place in his personal script for such inconveniences. Roddenberry's next creation, Star Trek, Next Generation, again featured a character who saw emotions as the earmark of humanity. Data was an android who longed to be human. He yearned to be human, even adopting a pet cat, "Spot," because so many humans seemed to have pets. For years he worked on an "emotion chip" which would allow him to finally become human. One of my favorite interactions between him and Captain Piccard occurred as they were entering a dangerous situation. Data turned to Piccard and said, "Captain, I believe I'm feeling afraid," to which Piccard responded, "Perhaps you should turn off your emotion chip." Now I don't know about you, but I have certainly been in situations where it would have been wonderful to just turn off my "emotion chip" - or would it? What are emotions, anyway? Hundreds of years ago the Greek philosopher, Aristotle, asked this same question and came up with a list of emotions. In fact, if you look on the web, today people continue to ask that question, and continue to try to list and weigh emotions. The bottom line, however, is that no matter how we define them, if there is one thing we as humans share, it is emotions. Ok, so we all have emotions, now what? Since emotions are a given, how can we become emotionally healthy? What is emotional health? Emotionally healthy people not only accept their emotions, they are in control of the thoughts, feelings and behaviors which arise out of these emotions. Emotionally healthy people have the ability to express a full range of emotions, and to express them appropriately. Emotionally healthy people feel good about themselves and consequently enjoy good relationships. Because they understand what is going on within themselves, emotionally healthy people are able to keep problems in perspective. On the flip side, being emotionally stuck is frequently an indicator of a lack of emotional health. All too often people become stuck in depression or stress, stuck in anger, stuck in fear, or stuck in guilt or shame. Without emotional growth and change there can't be emotional health. Interestingly the word "emotion" itself comes from the Latin verb motere which means "to move through or out" so that the word "e-motion" itself implies energy in motion. The question for each of us is whether we are allowing this energy to springboard us on to bigger and better things, or whether we are spending this energy to stay stuck in negative emotions and situations, sapping our creativity and growth. Stop to think about situations or times when you've been in a funk about something. How often is it the other person's response, or circumstance which is creating our pain or frustration? Actually, the root of almost all our emotional discomfort can be found in our own expectations. You expect a person to behave in a certain way…and they don't. You expect life to be fair... and it isn't. You expect your job or our family to bring fulfillment in your life...and they can't. You expect your boss (or spouse) to recognize your superb work...and they focus on someone or something else. When you find yourself stuck in pain or anger, ask yourself... "what is it that I'm expecting in this situation, or from this person?" Once you have recognized that your feelings are a response to a specific expectation, it becomes easier to let go of them and move on. Notice that I said "easier" not "easy." Letting go of hurt, anger, or whatever your particular negative, toxic emotional response might be will take work. But it's worth it! Obviously emotional or mental health is a major issue in its own right, but what many people don't seem to recognize is the high price they pay physically for poor emotional health practices. Stress, depression, and anxiety can contribute to a host of physical ailments rampant in society today. These include digestive disorders, sleep disturbances, and lack of energy. In fact, research has shown that prolonged mismanagement of emotions may be the number one contributor for most conditions, including psychiatric diseases and memory loss; heart and vascular diseases; gastrointestinal problems; headaches; skin conditions; urinary tract difficulties; loss of sex drive; pain and inflammation; respiratory problems; abnormal weight gain or loss; and immune system problems. It is even implicated in a form of dwarfism called Psychogenic Dwarfism.
Since emotional health is a priority, how can you enhance it? Set achievable short-term and
long-term goals
To feel, or not to feel? The answer may be, neither…and both. Rather than viewing life through the eyes of Oscar Wilde, who said, "The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray," perhaps we should be more like the 18th Century French moralist, Vauvenargues, who said, "Emotions have taught mankind to reason." Maybe the best answer is in a melding of the two, logic and reason plus emotions. Together they produce an effective, stronger, more compassionate, and yes, more logical person. Remember Spock and Data? In the end Spock made peace with his humanity, his emotions. And Data? Data was last seen in his book- filled library, listening to classical music in front of a crackling fire, while stroking his cat Spot and reading...a quiet smile of enjoyment on his face. |
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