Parenting 101: Security

Many brand new parents want to know “What is the most important thing my baby needs?” There are many differing opinions on what the answer should be. Some say food, and yes, your baby needs proper nutrition; for a newborn that is either breast milk or an infant formula. Some say safety, and yes, your baby needs to be safe; infants are not able to take care of themselves or keep themselves safe from danger, so you will need to do that. You will need to make sure that where they sleep is safe (a proper crib with baby sleeping on their back), where they play is safe (age appropriate toys, no small items that may choke them), how they travel is safe (approved child restraints in moving vehicles at all times). Some will say that a child’s greatest need is love, and yes, this is one of the most important and basic human needs; the knowledge that we are important to someone and make a difference in someone’s life.

But I also want you to consider something that some people overlook…one of the most important needs in a child’s life, no matter their age is SECURITY. Children need to know that their place in the family is secure and that their family is stable. New parents need to remember that the two of them, the husband and wife, were the family first. Before the baby was even dreamed of, the two of them had already formed a family unit. Then they decided to INVITE another member into the family…a child. Since the marriage relationship was the first one formed into the family, this should remain the priority relationship. When a child knows that mom and dad love each other and are committed to each other and that no matter what happens they will be together, then the child’s whole world seems safe and secure and worry free.

When your child is first born, it is very easy to fall into the trap of child-centered parenting, where your whole day revolves around your child and every conversation revolves around your child and every decision the two of you make revolves around your child. Parents need to consciously make an effort to keep “couple time” in their daily routine. This means a date night every now and then that does not include the children. This also means some time spent together in conversation in front of your children but where they are not allowed to interrupt. For example, sit on the couch with the kids playing quietly on the floor and have ten minutes uninterrupted time to just talk together as adults, as husband and wife. This will show your children that mom and dad are interested in each other as people, not just as parents of the same children and they will receive immense security in this fact.

Glenn and Debbie MacLean currently reside in Martinsburg, West Virginia. They are passionate about building strong, healthy families in the people that surround them. Glenn and Debbie glean wisdom from parenting their two children and from the Word of God.